*I tried to write this prettily, but I just can’t. It’s too vicious a subject.*

Lia and Cassie are the wintergirls in the title. They both have eating disorders. Or rather, Cassie has an eating disorder- Bulimia. Lia has a not-eating disorder- Anorexia. It opens with Cassie’s death. It closes with another death.

I couldn’t finish this book. It just is too much like pulling my ribs out of my chest and stabbing myself in the gut with them. It’s written brutally, because a long, intimate look inside the head of someone who honestly hates herself and her body can only ever be hard to deal with.

I’ve had this issue hit my family twice, and I just can’t take visiting that place again for the amount of time required to finish the book. So I didn’t finish it. But, I did give it three stars out of five, for the part I read. It appears to be very well written, so if you want a closer understanding of what it’s like to measure your worth by how little you weight- no other indicators are valid- I’d recommend checking it out.

Lia Kahn just died. This is the story of how she continued.

Her world is not the one we know. It’s in the future, after a war, with new technology. One of the newest technologies is one which allows a child’s brain to be downloaded, and put into a robotic body. There is no organic part in this body, it is all metal and plastic. Adults can’t be downloaded, it drives them insane. But the mind of a 16 year old could take it.

Lia was in a car accident, a terrible one. Her family is very rich, and her father paid for her to be downloaded, or “skinned.”

So she wakes up in a robotic body, with her memories, and her life waiting for her. Or is it?

This story covers so many issues. Oh man. The rights of health care to the poor or disabled. What does compassion mean. What does it mean to be human? What makes you human? Is it your memories, your body, your ability to feel pain? Your ability to die? Because Lia and the other skinners are  immortal, effectively. Are there medical lines that should not be crossed? Does “quality of life” come into it? Does a robot have a soul?

You see, the war that ruined the world was about religion, which means that it’s kind of a hot-button topic. Those who believe in God are adamant that it (the skinners) are an abomination. Sorry, Lia, but you’re basically a demon now. Politically Correct people think that it’s a wonder of technology, but they don’t want to see it.

This book just tore my heart out and stomped on it. The scenes with her little sister were AWEFUL. I gave it three stars out of five. It probably deserves a higher score, I just- didn’t like it. I mean, it was VERY Good, and the end was heartbreakingly inevitable. I just didn’t like it. One of those books that makes my internal organs try to crawl away. Certain hypothetical situations are just not fun to ponder, and this is certainly one. Makes me glad I’m poor, because we couldn’t afford this, and there’s no way socialized medicine would spring for skinner children. *shudders*

Because I’m not so sure that the believers are wrong. If you make a machine to think that it is a person, is it really? Are we only our memories, or is there something more? I do think that there is something more, and I’m not sure that it can be copied. Of course, I’m not much of a believer in free will anyhow, so BLARRRRGLLLLLE. *incoherent waving*

This book needs a nice, heavy discussion with lots of philosophy. I just don’t want to take part.

Eoin Colfer is incredibly adept at world-building, especially the technology. I mean, I’m not so sure how technically feasible his worlds are, but within the confines he lays down, they usually work (with the exception of the Lost Colony, that was just out to lunch,) and they are always COOL. However, I’m not always so amazed and delighted by his characters. They have some nice quirks, but I never really feel like I know them. That, sadly, is what happened here.

Cosmo Hill is an orphan- sorry- Parentally Challenged. He’s an inmate- sorry- resident- of Clarissa Fraye School for Parentally Challenged Boys. It works on the capitalist model, which means they have to make money off of supporting a bunch of dumb boys while they learn to breath with their mouths closed. Which in turn means the boys are used as test subjects. Need to try out some perfumes? Gauge their toxicity on Parentally Challenged Boys! No one will complain except for the boys, and they’re soon beaten silent. Need to test some biological weapons? Pop over to Clairssa Fraye! They have  targets in all shapes and sizes! Want to see how little your prisoners in the prison you’re going to run can survive on? Test your starvation diet on Cosmo Hill first! No government agency is going to worry if HE runs a little too close to the edge of gnawing his own fingers off for sustenance.

So yeah, morale at CFSfPCB is low. So low that when the chance to possibly-escape-but-most-likely-die comes up, Cosmo and his friend Ziploc take their chances with death. And no, it’s not a magical escape with pixies who save everyone. And yes, I teared up.

Sadly, given everything else that happened in the book, that was the last time I teared up. I mean, there was a LOT of possible mayhem and death. And my reaction to most of it was “meh, are we done yet?” But Ziploc. Ah, Ziploc. I’m possibly not remembering your name correctly, and I’m too lazy to rummage for my copy. But I remember your snarky remarks with fondness. I salute you. May you have found peace.

Notice how I’m not telling anyone else that I hope they found peace? That’s because I DON”T CARE. Yeah, I’m in a harsh mood modivated by not enough sleep, but the fact remains that I remember more of the first two chapters than I do of the rest of the middle of the book. I think there was a race? And Cosmo blew someone up with his forehead? Or maybe he was told not to blow up someone with his forehead. I remember how it ended… Mostly. Though I can’t remember who died. Did he kill the token girl? Or was it the tortured youth? I’m pretty sure the traitor/Messiah didn’t kick it. Or maybe he just transcended us all and became a parasite.

I gave it three stars out of five. The world building was shiny! I liked the moving apartments.

So I read this for a book club, and I’m really not sure how to describe it. I’m used to books with a plot, for starters. I really am not sure that this story had one. You’d think that a book that involves a mummified body and piracy would be plot-laden- but no.

So there are three Main Characters. Teenagers! One is in Montreal, two are not. Then for reasons including running away, running to, and staying in hiding, they are all in Montreal. One works in a book store, one works in a fish shop, and one lives over the fish shop. They do not meet.

Time passes. While studying subjects that one of the Main Characters does not want to study, he knocks up a girl. This is about the same time that another girl steals computers and acquires visa numbers by undefined means. She also steals books from another other main character, who watches adoringly and does not do anything. The guy who knocked up a girl runs away with the girl, who does not acknowledge that she was knocked up- or a guy was involved in the fact that she now has a son- in any way. (It’s very french.)

Time passes. Computer-thief finds a mummified body and has a crisis of conscience. Student-guy lazily runs away from a flood. Bookseller invites the Thief over to get drunk, and she steals some things and leaves him on the floor with all his clothes on.

People think about their lives. FULL STOP OF STORY.

So, in terms of plot, I’m sure it’s in there. Being french. And hiding. But I’m not very clever at finding it, seeing as I prefer my plots of be loudly present with lots of blood and explosions. But the characters were interesting, which is why I gave it three stars out of five.

(And oddly enough, my mom loved the book, which just goes to show. YOU might love it too!)

This starts with a murder. However, we’re not really led to feel anything about the character who’s being tortured to death, so it’s really more of a footnote in the plot. I mean, it’s the starting footnote, but it’s not IMPORTANT. Except for the person who’s being eaten. Probably he considers it important.

ANYWAYS. There is a murder. But we mainly HEAR about it because John is on the train to visit his tutor, and then when he gets OFF the train he’s met by the police who want to talk to him about his dead tutor. One thing leads to another, and then he’s stuck in a club in London with two new chaps, names of Charles and Jack. (Jack LEWIS and Charles WILLIAMS? Eh? Eh? And he’s John TOLKIEN? Get it? Get it?*elbows*)

Then basically one of the Grimm brothers shows up to leak water all over the doorstep and tell them they need to flee town on a dragon, captained by his daughter the pirate queen, and she just so happens to be waiting down at the wharf did I mention the Wendigo who are waiting outside to eat you? Alive?

CSL, JRRT and CW decide to leave. Now. A dragon sounds like a great idea!

Then they go to Avalon and meet the green knight and some fates with a stew of doom. There is also a man. Boy. Is he the-lost-heir-to-the-throne, evil-traitor-in-waiting, or boy-on-the-verdge-of-becoming-a-man? Only time will tell!

Once leaving the Arthurian reference behind, we visit Narnian references, Wonderland, Jules Verne, and sundry greek myths. Also a faint biblical touch, mixing Lot and Noah together into a DELICIOUS STEW.

I liked it- I think? The literary references were lots of fun, I just usually like a book to contain more in the way of plot and less in the way of “I just included five books in one chapter, oh, the cleverness of me!”

…

Which was a literary reference. Why yes, I DO take hypocritical pills every morning, thank you for asking. But yeah, the plot just didn’t impress me, tragically enough. I think the fact that I learned we were reading about the INKLINGS in the first chapter set my sights too high? I expected immense complexity and depth out the ying-yang. I didn’t get it.

I gave it three stars out of five. However, I actually read this at one go, while standing in front of a rack of power cables, which just might have contributed to my mindset while reading. I was waiting for my sister, who was waiting for some exiling shop boy to look up information about her phone. (He didn’t find anything.) And it was hot. I mean, whew, nothing like dusty cables for two hours to make you loosen your collar!

(In the beginning)
Yeine Darr is named as a possible contender to a throne she has no interest in.

(Previously)
Her mother died. She doesn’t know who killed her, or why.

Nothing is as it seems. To trust anyone is a surefire way to wind up dead- in extremely cruel ways.

Cruelty is the only way to survive;

I LOVED the voice of this book. It was a strange stream of consciousness type thing, changing viewpoints all over the place, and I adored it passionately.

Here, have a quote from the opening.

I am not as I once was. They have done this to me, broken me open and torn out my heart. I do not know who I am anymore.

I must try to remember.
…

My people tell stories of the night I was born. They say my mother crossed her legs in the middle of labor and fought with all her strength not to release me into the world. I was born anyhow, of course; nature cannot be denied. Yet it does not surprise me that she tried.
…

My mother was an heiress of the Arameri. There was a ball for the lesser nobility — the sort of thing that happens once a decade as a backhanded sop to their self-esteem. My father dared ask my mother to dance; she deigned to consent. I have often wondered what he said and did that night to make her fall in love with him so powerfully, for she eventually abdicated her position to be with him. It is the stuff of great tales, yes? Very romantic. In the tales, such a couple lives happily ever after. The tales do not say what happens when the most powerful family in the world is offended in the process.
…

But I forget myself. Who was I, again? Ah, yes.
…

My name is Yeine. In my people’s way I am Yeine dau she Kinneth tai wer Somem kanna Darre, which means that I am the daughter of Kinneth, and that my tribe within the Darre people is called Somem. Tribes mean little to us these days, though before the Gods’ War they were more important.

I am nineteen years old. I also am, or was, the chieftain of my people, called ennu. In the Arameri way, which is the way of the Amn race from whom they originated, I am the Baroness Yeine Darr.

One month after my mother died, I received a message from my grandfather, Dekarta Arameri, inviting me to visit the family seat. Because one does not refuse an invitation from the Arameri, I set forth. It took the better part of three months to travel from the High North continent to Senm, across the Repentance Sea. Despite Darr’s relative poverty, I traveled in style the whole way, first by palanquin and ocean vessel, and finally by chauffeured horse-coach. This was not my choice. The Darre warriors’ council, which rather desperately hoped that I might restore us to the Arameri’s good graces, thought that this extravagance would help. It is well known that Amn respect displays of wealth.

Thus arrayed, I arrived at my destination on the cusp of the winter solstice. And as the driver stopped the coach on a hill outside the city, ostensibly to water the horses but more likely because he was a local and liked to watch foreigners gawk, I got my first glimpse of the Hundred Thousand Kingdoms’ heart.

There is a rose that is famous in High North. (This is not a digression.)

More…

So far, this is sounding like a book which is written expressly to delight me. The characters are lovely, complex and devious, the world building is expansive, and the plot is-

Well the plot is why the book didn’t attach its self to my soul and make a nest there, the better to colour all my life choices afterwards. You see, you have about seven eighths of the book that are awesome, and then at the end, everything changes. Most of the characters literally change, the voice of the book changes, and the plot goes from Machiavellian intrigue (cruelty is the way to live, or of course you can die slowly if you want) to Love is all you need! *Happy, sultry music*

And the sultriness. (Uh, yeah. I guess I’m gonna have to put this under a spoiler cut…) So that little scene really freaked me out. Maybe I’m hopelessly provincial, but when the descriptions make me picture the MC being ravished by an octopus, that just spoils the mood entirely. Less Romance, more Ick. An amorphous cloud just doesn’t seem attractive to me. In any way. I don’t go for jellyfish, OR Ganesh, OR energy-beings. Srysly. OH, and the Free Love aspect. What, is it not possible to love someone WITHOUT sleeping with them? I notice that Parent/Child sex wasn’t encouraged, or Brother/Sister, or even Woman/Woman. But as long as one or more of the participants was a (mostly) male god, we’re all good?LolWHUT? Those things disturbed me. Just- there are ways to show someone that you trust them, OTHER than sleeping with them. Let’s try rock climbing, I hear that’s good and fun!

So I gave it three stars out of Five. I still want to read the next book in the series, but I might wait till it hits the library system.