Please to not most of these are taken wildly out of context for maximum lolz. No one ACTUALLY stalked, seduced, murdered, decapitated, bit, or flirted with someone else. Well, maybe the flirting.
Bahnree: dude i flirted with a guy in a stairwell
Bahnree: actually, two guys, but one of them was in a dress so i’m not going to count him
Snazel: *srys face*
Snazel: *for reading*
Bahnree: ur srys face is kewt
Bahnree: mom is at costco, trying to get me to spend money on suzanne collins and clockwork angel
Snazel: your mom is so wise
Bahnree: it’s kinda like having a money-sucking demon as a mother
Then we talked about Mockingjay. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
Bahnree: i knew i was going to be miserable when it STARTS with "oh yeah Cinna died"
Snazel: I didn’t catch that till the very end
Snazel: when her prep team says they’re the only one left
Snazel: I still held out hope he was in a cell somewhere
Bahnree : yeah
Bahnree: i was like no hope for meeee
Bahnree: collins is too good at killing off characters and not, you know, magically bringing them back to life
Bahnree: and i thought finnick got totally ripped off
Bahnree: BUT THAT’S OKAY
Bahnree: if someone was going to get decapitated, i would have enjoyed watching Gale being so
Bahnree: er, i mean
Bahnree: DECAPITATION IS
Snazel: Finnick got ripped off
Bahnree: LOL SHADDAP YOU
Bahnree: TOO SOON
Bahnree: TOO SOOOOOOOOOOOON
I came back to my chat and found this.
Bahnree: *wanders around*
Bahnree: *looks under table*
Bahnree: IS THIS REAL LIFE????
Bahnree: WHERE IS JASMINAY?
*Someone I was in a FB argument with*
"I think it’s more a fail on your part, there: You’re proving my point in saying that. I don’t even KNOW you yet you creep me on fb enough to know about my employment agreements. NORMAL people don’t do that!"
Note: I was so proud of that moment.
PCB: are you going to yell at me and insult me and stalk away if we have this conversation again?
PCB: that fateful email
Snazel: that soured me forever
PCB: which irreversibly altered history’s course
Snazel: so true
PCB: it’s like one of those landmark events in X-Men or the Avengers
PCB: that incur numerous flashbacks decades later
PCB: and have all these different mini-series written about what would have happened if it didn’t happen
Snazel: like when I slapped you
PCB: with, the shoe?
Snazel: No, the other one
Snazel: on student for a day
Snazel: we’re living in the alternate timeline where I didn’t
PCB: makes sense
Snazel: in the other one, you threw something at me, and it turned into a massive riot in the doorway
PCB: yeah, I would have probably found you interesting sooner if you’d done that
PCB: you’re the bestest
Snazel: I sure am
PCB: no. Bitte means "please"
PCB: Danke is thanks
PCB: eye twitches
Snazel: then what’s you’re welcome, my dear?
PCB: y’know, I think you might be right and I wrong
PCB: would reflect sadly on my academic performance
Snazel: COPY AND PASTE
Bahnree: (please stop ravishing my reviews)
Behnree: how did BASTA make this list????
Bahnree: i mean, does anyone actually LIKE Basta?
Snazel: Okay, Nick is sexy
Snazel: no denying
Snazel: Jace is
Snazel: I didn’t find him sexy
Snazel: but a lot of people do
Bahnree: i just got an email from uo saying "Don’t Miss on Great Basketball Action."
Snazel: ew, I’m too young for basketball action
Snazel: Patch is abusive, but hawt
Snazel: Will- dunno
Bahnree: good times with abuse *sigh*
Snazel: HALE IS MY TRUE LOVE
Snazel: Dunno eric
Snazel: Roiben is a GOOD guy
Snazel: I hold to this
Snazel: and kissing makes his teeth ache
Snazel: have pity
Snazel: Draco needs to be punished
Snazel: I can help with that
Snazel: but I dont’ go for blondes
Bahnree: Will is definitely hot, Basta is just…no. Ew., Draco, well, Tom Felton is hot, but Draco is not, and Archer is a little delicious
Bahnree: and i don’t know any of the others XD
Snazel: Archer is cute, and smart, and yummy-maybe
Snazel: but there’s not sparks for ME
Snazel: Nick has sparks for everyone
Bahnree: well ok
Snazel: if you’re female, he’d hit that
Snazel: possibly male too, that’s not really
Snazel: Hale is just smart and cocky and my true love
Snazel: we can share
Bahnree: thank you?
Bahnree: never thought i’d be sharing a fictional boy with you
Bahnree: what am i saying? we were always destined for this!!!
Snazel: it’s SO TRUE
Snazel: Kemendraugh will be moderator
Snazel: or- she’ll probably share too
Kemendraugh: I’ve been telling you to embrace your weirdness for months! And you only believe it when a gay man tells you?
PCB: that kind of weird
PCB: "To whom it may concern,
PCB: please note that I am a contagiously insane individual, and that said condition grips me in the most advanced of stages."
PCB: "I was told to send this letter outlining my weirdness, lest I be deemed a normal person."
Bahnree: "wild on book depository"
Bahnree: we are SO NERDY’
Bahnree: wah I want to marry Gamedevftw AND you
Bahnree: and possibly Kemendraugh, just to make it an even number
Bahnree: er, well, that wouldn’t be the only reason i would marry Kemendraugh….haha that sounded horrible
Bahnree: oh man but i swear, clare did the parabatai thing with her slash goggles on. full stop
Kemendraugh: Men are so orally fixated.
Kemendraugh: they make it too easy, really
Bahnree: wow you know what word i HATE?
Bahnree: i want it to go away
Bahnree: it’s just WEIRD
Bahnree: i yearn for cheezits. i yearn for a man. i yearn for a fresh perspective on my melodramatic life.
Bahnree: there, now it doesn’t look like a word
Bahnree: *has defeated it*
Bahnree: ok i really need to go be more productive
Bahnree: for example my clothing is taking over my bed
Bahnree: i yearn for a clear bed
PCB: stalked a girl
PCB: thought you’d be proud
Snazel: You ever type so much that your hands are just tired, and you want to *demonstrates* Bite the- your knuckles?
Bahnree: Why do you know the french for threesome anyhow?
Bahnree: Snaz you’re destroying all my hopes and dreams right now
Bahnree: see this is why it’s a good thing our parents don’t randomly go through our chat history