In prep for nano, I decided to share the origin short that I wrote a couple of months ago. I’m not sure how much of this is actually making it into the story, but it DOES give you a good look at Ewan, my angry boy. He’s the one narrating..
WARNING: contains some profanity. Sorry. Like I said, Ewan is an angry boy.
… couldn’t quite identify that accent. It sounded like he’d learnt english from one of those characters in those old books, Agatha Christie or Rudyard Kipling, all upper-crust and what-ho, let-us-now-have-a-biscuit-and-a-spot-of-tea, wot. Like, if anyone had tried to tell me how he talked, I’d have laughed in his face. But somehow it worked, in person. Maybe because he was so calm about it. Like he knew he was talking weird, he did it on purpose. Like he was carefully playing the part of the mysterious stranger. Whatever. Dawn was practically licking his feet, she was so taken up with him, and everybody knows she can spot a phony a mile away. She found FOUR narcs last term, THAT she told people about. WTF, man? Who spots narcs and DOESN”T tell people? Dawn, that’s who. She just does not care. Gotta respect that, even if she is a stuck up bitch. It’s kinda hot, actually.
The man finally finished answering Lisa’s inane questions. God, she asks a lot of questions. Seriously. Who, Even, Cares? Just shut up all ready. No one is fooled by your “perfect little keener princess” act, even if you are easy. The man looked around the room at the people stuck in these stupid plastic chairs. Like we even wanted to be called out of class to listen to some idiot talk, anyhow. “You’ve all been asked here because you’ve show signs of exceptional ability.” Like I haven’t heard that one before. Exceptional, yeah right. “I represent a- certain organization. Not from around here.” Damn straight you’re not from around here. Nothing worthwhile is. “We used to be knows as Arbitrators Of Fate, or, what is that new translation we have?” He turned to look at his assistant. Funny, I hadn’t noticed he had an assistant till then.
The assistant blinked white eyelashes. “Karma Police.”
I already had my arms folded, but I would have done it if I hadn’t already. Like Hell, you’re Karma Police. What is is this, some new kind of experimental physiology? Let’s talk about what you’ve done wrong and how you’re gonna make that up to society? Good luck with that, man. You’re gonna need it.
The man nodded. “Yes, Karma Police, that’s the new name. We do work which requires a delicate touch, as well as certain skills, which you display evidence of.” He looked around the room. From his expression you’d think we were all hanging on his every word. The bastard was calm, I’ll give you that. “Moreover, you are all highly intelligent-” Oh yeah, I’ve heard this before. And I’ve just about had enough of it. “-and as such, the tests that you took this morning will allow us to issue you high school diplomas.” WHAT? Okay, whatever he’s smoking, I want some. I totally threw that test! And so did Dawn, I saw her sheet. What? Yeah, I was looking, you wanna make something of it? Huh? She practically dropped it on my desk anyhow. But I didn’t even answer half the questions, and I totally messed up the ones I felt like it for. What kind of test asks you what the biggest injustice done to you is? One that’s looking to screw you over, that’s what. Not that I didn’t know that already when Mr. Asshole comes in and says these people have the full support of the teaching staff. You know who else has the full support? The Police. And effing straight-a students from broken homes. “If you would be willing to come in for closer evaluations, we might see our way clear to offering you a job.” Uh, that’s a new slant. What, a “job” filling out emotional evaluations and scrubbing floors? Yeah, right. “We know that some of you, being, as mentioned, strong students and well involved with the community, already have obligations.” Sacred Heart Of God, I hate Matthew. He puffed up like a fish as soon as the man said this. Yeah, we ALL KNOW YOU’RE PERFECT, QUARTERBACK. Go do the world a favor and shoot yourself. “But it is rare that we find such outstanding candidates as yourselves, or so many.” So many? There’s five of us. The jock, the princess, the freak, the nerd, and me. The criminal. Who’s outstanding there? Huh, I guess we already know that. Dude, I just want my parole to be over, and I want to leave. Man, I want to leave. “Therefore, if we do decide we want you to join our organization, we will dissolve any bonds you have here.” Then he looked right at me. “Any bonds.” Uh, okay? He must have looked at our files, they’re right there on the desk- ANY bonds? “Needless to say, we’ve already received the full support of your school, and I can assure you that any other- obligations- spoken or unspoken- will be no issue.” Now why would that make Dawn’s expression change? What obligations does she have? The girl makes a religion of having nothing to do with anyone. “And I can assure you, the monetary remuneration for your time, including the evaluation period, would be substantial.” I made a list in my head. The outfit the man was wearing couldn’t have been worth less than three thousand, and more importantly, his assistant was dressed the same way. When those kind of people talk about substantial, it’s substantial.
Okay, now I might be interested.